No Requiem for Lamentation

A requiem (I love that word) is a funeral song or chant, and the word lamentation is to mourn or grieve. Sadness is a feeling that has lost its appeal in a world overly concerned about personal happiness. We have been told the lie that life is supposed to go from one moment of happiness to another. Even pastors spend inordinate amounts of time trying to “preach” people happy, instead of telling them uncomfortable truths that will help them in the long run. I wish that life was that simple, but it has complications that require the entire emotional span. We will be under developed inwardly if we don’t learn to embrace the good with the bad.

People let us down, jobs are lost, cars fail to function, etc. it is the human condition, don’t run from it. I don’t like unpleasantness anymore than the next person, but I am learning to remain hopeful even in uncomfortable spaces. There are far too many people running from negative emotions only to discover that those emotions can be patient. They will lay low for a while until they finally emerge more fierce and reckless than you could ever imagine. Often people end up paying thousands of dollars to get someone to help them process thoughts and emotions that they refused to face years before.

We must learn to embrace lament! I am not saying that we need to love sadness, but we must not be afraid of it. Sadness is a necessary feeling that helps us get through this world’s disappointments. If we let it, it might make the good and happy times even sweeter. Any good pastry chef knows that when making something sugary you have to add a little salt. Loss and sorrow are the needed component that adds the necessary contrast.

How does this work?

Well when living in a society like the United States its okay to celebrate the freedoms and prosperity we enjoy, while mourning its treatment of the indigenous people, and African Americans, Asian Americans, etc. This country has so much hypocrisy! It is still my country and I want it to be and am working to make it better. Lament is also appropriate when we look our county’s founders, many of whom wrote a wonderful document, but restricted the liberties of others with impunity!

These moments of grief are important when we look to the heroes who are exposed to be less than perfect. Civil rights leaders who have undoubtedly made our lives better, but struggled in their personal morality. The good doesn’t erase what bad they have done, but it helps put their lives in context.

When our favorite celebrities screw up, but the art they created has touched our lives…lament. When we discover the brokenness within our parents who love us, but are less than saints…lament. When our friends disappoint us, when spouses let us down, when kids don’t fulfill their potential, when your dreams die stillborn…LAMENT! It’s healthy.

We believe that time heals all wounds, it doesn’t. Processing our pain helps to heal and lamentation is a big part of that. Cancel culture does not allow for these feelings, because we’d rather just right everything off and move on. What you will discover is that life will eventually force you to face that which you would rather avoid. Get counseling or whatever you need to do to get it out, but we should not try to avoid this necessary emotion.