Lessons I Learned about Myself on Sabbatical

I recently completed a season away from ministry on some much-needed time off. In both the church and business world, it’s called a sabbatical. For most of the month of June I have taken time away for both my family and myself. After over 10 years of bi-vocational work at a national weather news station and work in the local church, writing a book, caring for a child with disabilities, starting a church, and keeping a marriage vibrant, I needed some time away to refocus, renew, refresh.

I rediscovered a truth; it’s often the silences that scream the loudest. I am naturally an extreme extrovert, so extreme silence is deafening for me, but a powerful contrast to my everyday life. There in lies a lesson that I am so glad I discovered so early in my pastoral journey. I can become so focused on doing the work of a minister that I can loose myself in the process. I can get so focused on what I am “doing” that I forget that I must first focus on “being”. It’s simply characteristic of my basic processing and can’t be fixed, but rather managed and kept under control. I have seen spiritual leaders make this mistake with catastrophic results. Now that I have that insight into myself, by God’s grace I won’t go down that path.

Another learning that came abundantly clear is that I don’t have to be the one doing everything. So many pastors create bottlenecks in their ministry because everything rises and falls on their ability. Early in our church development, we made it our desire to train our team well. To this day we have met more with our team to train than in public worship gatherings. They are highly gifted and well equipped enough to run the church in our absence. This is after only 5 months since launching. That is both humbling and encouraging to a leader. Vertical Church has become something we all are responsible for, rather than a personal project of my wife and I. It gives me so much hope for the future of this local expression of Jesus’ church.

One rediscovery was that I really love my family. I never doubted that fact, but life has a way of making us prioritize the least important things and neglecting those who should matter most. It is a beautiful thing to look at one’s wife after 12 years and be completely vulnerable and honest with her. It is a joy to be able to spend a day together and want to be no place else in the world, but there with that one woman. It’s a blessing to see a mystery in her that you still have yet to discover. To see the hope in the story that God is telling through my son’s life that humbles me and makes a proud dad all over again. I purpose to never elevate ministry over these precious people who in His wisdom God gave to me.

The interesting thing was I thought I would miss preaching most. I didn’t miss it at all! Please understand I am a preacher. I love speaking truth and watching God take my often-inadequate words and change lives. It is an honor to open His precious word and be commissioned with this task. I take it very seriously. But, what I missed were the people. Loving on them, connecting with them, getting to know and lead them. The faces of the people I lead kept flooding my mind. It took the utmost discipline to keep from calling and checking up on them. I learned that I am a shepherd, and I love being there for God’s people. I know several successful lead pastors who would say that this is their least favorite part of their job. I am just glad to find out that I am not one of them.

It’s amazing to learn things about yourself both good and bad. I believe that to grow and develop we must understand ourselves, even if what we learn is not the most beautiful sides of ourselves. I can now take these lessons and sure up my weaknesses and build on my strengths to make me a better Jesus follower, husband, father, and pastor. My encouragement to you is to get still enough to know yourself.